Hello from the road! Wow, where to start-let's see, oh yes, the wind.... Well, my van was doing the cha-cha on the open highway as I struggled to keep it on the road today! Gale force winds were giving me all they had but I prevailed. Well, the van prevailed, my hair... not so much. Every time I had to get out of the van for even a nanosecond my appearance took a nosedive.By the time I arrived at my destination I looked....fabulous. This is my, "are you kidding me, I'm honestly going to walk into my next appointment looking like this, where is a flat iron when you need one, maybe I can pass this off as a punk look" look.
Speaking of the cha cha. My good friend, colleague and fellow blogger Andy got married this past weekend. It was a beautiful wedding.... until of course... the cha cha. If you haven't been to a wedding in the past year, you may not know of this outstanding phenomenon! It's the Macarena of the new century. Allow me to indulge you: (cue token hyped up drum beat music)
Clap your hands everybody
Slide to the left
take it back now yal
One hop this time
Right foot lets stomp
Left foot lets stomp
Cha Cha now yal!
This is one of those great, group dance things. By great I mean, terrible and annoying with the sole purpose of making adults look like buffoons. Because only one of two things can happen. 1) Either you don't catch on to the dance until 8 seconds before it ends, and in the mean time you have plowed into the groom's 80-year old grandmother- not once but twice, because you cha-cha'd the wrong direction, OR, 2) you actually know the dance and do it correctly, and frankly, that's not actually any cooler, and in fact may actually make you look like a bigger buffoon. Of course, any 8-year old in the house can groove the cha-cha like a celebrity on Dancing with the Stars. Little punks...
Lastly, let's talk about Grease Creatures- my latest way to pass the hours driving. You've heard of people gazing at clouds and looking for shapes? OK, this is the same thing, but you do it with the greasy leftovers of your drive-through food. You can use spent napkins, paper bags, or even that important piece of paper that accidentally touched your food and now forever has the greasy Ring of Doom imprinted on it.
OK, expand your mind- now what do you see? A dog? A bunny? The Mona Lisa? Keep looking...maybe squint a little... Of course, the immense guilt of eating yet another greasy glob of goodness weighs on my mind and, on the best of days, I end of logging some miles on the treadmill. Then, feeling pretty good about my awesome workout, I head to Coldstone for a double scoop of chocolaty-brownie goodness. What? Would I like to add a dose of cookie dough and a chocolate dipped waffle cone for only 79 cents? Why sure! This probably seems like very unstable behavior to the outsider. Ok, it's definitely unstable... somewhere across town a psychiatrist is cringing... well, that, or a Jenny Craig rep- either way, I'm sure it's bad!
Clap your hands everybody
Slide to the left
take it back now yal
One hop this time
Right foot lets stomp
Left foot lets stomp
Cha Cha now yal!
This is one of those great, group dance things. By great I mean, terrible and annoying with the sole purpose of making adults look like buffoons. Because only one of two things can happen. 1) Either you don't catch on to the dance until 8 seconds before it ends, and in the mean time you have plowed into the groom's 80-year old grandmother- not once but twice, because you cha-cha'd the wrong direction, OR, 2) you actually know the dance and do it correctly, and frankly, that's not actually any cooler, and in fact may actually make you look like a bigger buffoon. Of course, any 8-year old in the house can groove the cha-cha like a celebrity on Dancing with the Stars. Little punks...
Lastly, let's talk about Grease Creatures- my latest way to pass the hours driving. You've heard of people gazing at clouds and looking for shapes? OK, this is the same thing, but you do it with the greasy leftovers of your drive-through food. You can use spent napkins, paper bags, or even that important piece of paper that accidentally touched your food and now forever has the greasy Ring of Doom imprinted on it.
OK, expand your mind- now what do you see? A dog? A bunny? The Mona Lisa? Keep looking...maybe squint a little... Of course, the immense guilt of eating yet another greasy glob of goodness weighs on my mind and, on the best of days, I end of logging some miles on the treadmill. Then, feeling pretty good about my awesome workout, I head to Coldstone for a double scoop of chocolaty-brownie goodness. What? Would I like to add a dose of cookie dough and a chocolate dipped waffle cone for only 79 cents? Why sure! This probably seems like very unstable behavior to the outsider. Ok, it's definitely unstable... somewhere across town a psychiatrist is cringing... well, that, or a Jenny Craig rep- either way, I'm sure it's bad!
1 comment:
OMG I ♥ coldstone!
Did you know they now have Sundeas!?!
Yeah,its probably going to be one of the first things I get when I arrive back in the USA!
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