Crikey!

Please use your best Australian accent for the following:

"Crikey! Look at that croc, she's a real beauty! My goodness, look at the teeth on her! Wait, what's that, my goodness, she's leaving the swamp! Wait, she's hovering, she's floating! Will you look at that! Look out mate, that croc is coming after us!"

OK, enough imagery here, you get the idea. Actually, in honor of Halloween we had not a croc hunter, but a Ghost Hunter on campus today! Like, a legitimate, certified, "I have tools and stuff to look for ghosts" ghost hunter. (OK, I don't know about the certified part, I made that up, I mean, who would certify them? FBI? AARP? NRA? ASPC???)

You may or may not know that Simpson is thought to be a haunted campus. Many books (Like Haunted Places and Haunted Heartland) and articles have been written on the subject. I'm not saying one way or the other, all I can say is that I work in "the haunted building, " aka College Hall or Old Chapel, and have spent many a late night there alone- and to date, I've yet to be massacred by a floating white ghost. So, all I can say is that she (Mildred) must be friendly.


But, the Ghustbuster, or wait, the Ghost Hunter shall investigate campus all day today and pronounce his findings at 8 PM in a public forum. We shall see what he discovers.....

I'll finish with some good Halloween Humor!

Gray Anatomy

Among the coils of gray matter, cells and lymph nodes, deep in the center of my brain I think there is a little compartment with an elf. He sits at a type writer all day and types out random ideas and thoughts. I think his name is Horace. Oh, and he has a British accent- weird…I know.

What does he write about? Anything and everything. The things with the most merit make their way to my vocal chords and I pass them off as my own thoughts, everything else just zips around my neuro pathways, forever banging against my skull. Horace distracts me at the worst of times. He forces his stupid ideas on my when I am driving, he shares his life philosophies with me when I am supposed to be paying attention to something important, and he even wakes me up in the middle of the night with his poetry writing. Crazy elf…

Here is a sample of Horace’s recent ramblings- normally I’d never voice them because they have little merit. But, this is a blog afterall- which means pretty much anything goes. It sounds like me talking but that's because Horace only has a typewriter.

Here goes. (Don't forget the British accent)

On the road you are forced to eat every meal out. I discovered that Hardees is actually really good. For some reason, you seem to only find them in small towns these days but man, they have good burgers. I'll admit, I hate their marketing- here is a pretty good farce of the "Lardees" Thickburger commercials. I mean, no one can compete with the golden trans-fatty goodness that is the McDonalds French fry, but if you're looking for a burger- yummmm.

Another small town treasure is Pamida. I LOVE Pamida. Maybe it's the city slicker in me- I grew up with Walmart and Target. Pamida's are small and cheap and yet I always seem to find some gem I just must have. So next time you drive through small town Iowa, check out the local Pamida.

I think it's weird when a room full of complete strangers says "Bless you" when you sneeze. It's just weird- I don't know you, why are you saying that?

I love it when you are wasting your life away watching TV on a Sunday afternoon and you come across some reruns of a terrible reality show. It turns out it's a marathon and 5 hours later you've watched the whole season. Man, ANYthing can suck you in. For me, this weekend it was, "Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the team 2." I am embarrassed to admit that. But then, I proceeded to get sucked into "The Real Coyote Ugly," and then I finished it off with "I want to look like a high school cheerleader again." Man.... that is way lame.

I've always thought cars should have big screens on the outside where you can type messages to other cars. It's good in theory, it would be like, "Hey, nice rims." But, I suppose in reality it would be more like "Are you kidding me, haven't you evert heard of a turn signal idiot!"

In 2 weeks I am going to see the Artist of the Century in concert... so that's cool.

McDonals Rents DVD's now. I wonder if they rent out that McDonalds bashing movie, Supersize me? Or Fastfood Nation? That would be really weird. I wonder how they decide what to add? Harold and Kumar go to White Castle? No way, that's promoting the competition! Saw 4? Well, the dead bodies kind of resemble Big Mac juice, so maybe not?

Movie theatre popcorn smells good in a buttery, movie'ish kind of way, but also bad, in a smelly sock kind of way. Has anyone else ever noticed that?

Ok, OK, that's enough Horace, go back your brain cage.

Hmmmm

Unfortunately I've got nothing humorous or even slightly clever to say today. I just noticed that my previous blog was more than 7 days old which is my cardinal sin of blogging. So here I am. I'm sitting in a hotel room, just catching up on some business after driving all day. I do have a few blogs I'm working on that will be oh so witty- but I just don' t have the gumption to put them into words tonight. But don't worry, my mind is a steel trap- I won't forget! (Well, I mean, yes I forgot my map, cell phone charger and a few other minor essentials for life on the road, but...)

And congrats to Storm football for an awesome win last weekend!

I'll be back in all of my blogging glory before you know it. As for now, I'm going to turn in- I just realized I am sitting on the bedspread- a major no-no in any hotel. Um, ewwwwww.

My quarterlife...

The next time you approach a college rep at the beginning of a college fair, and she is sweating and panting and fanning herself with a brochure, just stop and ask yourself if there is ANY chance that she just navigated 8 blocks of city stairways, escalators and curb-checks while dragging a pull-cart loaded with over 50 pounds of college materials with her. IF indeed there is a chance, however small, that this could be the circumstance- proceed with caution...

On a completely unrelated note, I just wrapped another successful week of travel season This week saw me navigating the byways of downtown Minneapolis. I spoke with tons of great students and even learned that indeed, the word Hilton does have meaning beyond just celebutante blonds who favor bejeweled Chihuahuas. In fact, it's an interesting study of contrasts actually, because the Minneapolis Hilton was perhaps the nicest hotel I have ever stayed in- elegant and comfortable with the best customer service I've ever experienced. Now that's HAWT! (What? No? That word's not cool anymore? Oh it never was? Sorry...)

This week also signified my quarter-season the point where my fall travel is about a fourth complete. From here on out I'll mostly be cruising past the corn fields of rural eastern Iowa, struggling to find a radio station that plays music rather than livestock prices and contemplating life. And I'll be soaking up and enjoying every Iowa-farm scented minute of it.

One of my recent contemplations was about my quarterlife crisis. It's kind of like the midlife crisis, without the Botox and new car- because let's face- the mid twenties doesn't lend itself to such luxuries. OK, actually the quarterlife crisis is the panic the young twenty-something endures when realizing they don't actually know anything, the world is a scary place, somebody is trying to sell you insurance for EVERYTHING, they aren't moving up the corporate ladder fast enough, or, uh, that their corporate ladder resembles more of a homemade footstool made in shop class and the bottom rung of the corporate ladder is actually out of reach. I know each age has it's own pressures and worries, it's just that the twenties marks the beginning of a whole lot of grown-up issues. Take employment benefits for instance- deductibles, coinsurance and tax-deferred 401 K matches- most young professionals don't know the ins and outs of such goings ons, let alone that "French" benefits are actually "fringe" benefits- and oh yeah- they don't have any!

Rest assured- I am well past my quarterlife crisis. Well, I mean, I am slightly closer to 30 than 20 so, yeah, I'm good. I've learned a lot of things in my quarter-century (ok, plus just a little) years. I've already told you that I've learned to not be afraid of failure and that it's ok to cheer for the losing team sometimes. But I've also learned that life is too short and too precious to worry about the small things (this one is a work in progress..) I've learned that the way you see the world depends on where you stand. I've learned that empathy is admirable not weak. I've learned that you should never take love, happiness or life for granted.
One of the cool things I've learned in my job is that dealing with people is as varied as the many paparazzi poses Paris Hilton has in her arsenal (that's a lot)! Some students love to talk to me on the phone...some don't (I know, it's hard to believe!). Some are looking for fun, excitement and activities in college, others are looking for study-tables, mentors and chemistry labs. Some love Facebook, others love textbooks! It's exciting and challenging and it's one of the things that make me love my job and working with high school students looking at Simpson!

PS- check out our new web project- it's awesome, where else can you hear the rumble of a motorcycle engine and learn more about forensic science?

Pride

This past week was "Homecoming Week" at Simpson. Ahhhh, homecoming. A time of competitions, decorations, friends, fun and most of all, school pride. Now, homecoming at a college is a little different than high school- gone are the days of "Pajama Day," "backwards day," or my personal favorite, "Rock the 80's" day. Its too bad, because I could sport some huge bangs like an eighties hairband and black stirrup pants with the best of 'em. But, alas, college kids on any campus are too committed to sweatpants and hoodies to bother with altering their attire. Rather, they catch the spirit of the week by competing in things like skits, street painting, olympics, bonfires and pep rallies. At Simpson the main event is Yell Like Hell, a competition with lots of chanting, clapping, stomping and rhythm-with campus groups performing original routines- it's awesome in a very Stomp the Yard kind of way!

The week concludes with a football game on Saturday. So yesterday I threw on my favorite sweatshirt, grabbed a thermos of hot cocoa and went to mingle with lots of students and alumni to watch the Storm take the field. Ok, who am I kidding, I was slathered in sunscreen, squinting in the harsh sun and dripping with sweat- but that doesn't sound as picturesque does it? Since when is it 85 degrees in October anyway? Like most spectators, I knew my team faced a big challenge- our biggest rival who also happened to be ranked in the top 10 teams in the nation. But I cheered my heart out- I teamed with the pep band, the cheerleaders and seas of fans, parents and alumni wearing red and gold to cheer for my team. We opened scoring with an 80 yard run and the crowd went crazy. The crowd was so into it and at one point, one of the Storm football players jumped off the field, grabbed the huge Simpson College flag and ran up and down the side of the field, with that huge flag billowing behind him. Everyone in those stands could taste the victory and imagine the headlines after we, the underdogs, knocked off our rival on such an important day. The tension took us all of the way through the 4th quarter when the final horn sounded. But in the end, despite the crowd, the band, the excitement- we lost the game. It was so close, and we lost by just 1 touchdown. I just felt devastated- we could have won that game. The players and coaches deserved that win and the fans wanted it so badly.

But I did learn something about pride. Pride isn't something that comes and goes. It's something special when an entire stadium aches with disappointment after a tough loss. It means we all have a connection to this place- we cheer when we're up and we sigh when we're down- but in the end- we all love it. Any team can gather fans and paint their faces when national championships are on the line but the pride I saw in that stadium is something I wouldn't trade for anything. (But I'm not sayin' a national championship wouldn't be nice as well!)