Dear Miss Admissions:

I'd like to take a little break from my commentary on daily life to share a little gem from the mail bag. Some of you may not know this, but a famous New York newspaper is just dying to sign me up as a columnist. But don't worry, I've rebuffed them in favor of admissions! I just love what I do too much- besides the leaving home one too many hours before dawn to drive across the state today, I had an awesome day at my first college fair of the year! I talked to so many cool students that my voice is hoarse and it feels like I swallowed a thumb tack- but in my line work- that is a sign of a successful day!

Anyway, on to the letter:

"Dear Miss Admissions-I am a senior in high school and I am starting to get really stressed about college. I don't know what I want to major in or where I want to go. Plus, my boyfriend wants to move to the east coast for college to play lacrosse. I love him but I think I want to stay closer to home. What do I do? -Anonymous on the Nishnabotna"

Miss Admissions says:

Dear Anonymous on the Nishnabotna- First of all you have to find a way to manage your stress. Read a book, crazily stalk someone on Facebook or take up yoga- your friends will be wicked jealous when you show them you can do the Leaning Dragon! I personally prefer throwing on some comfortable yet "I can't believe you are wearing those" ugly sweatpants and downing a healthy amount of raw cookie dough- but, whatever floats your boat. Believe it or not, finding the right college is not supposed to be a miserable experience! And trust me when I say you don't have to pick a major yet! I changed my major three times when I was at Simpson. I would have kept changing it but apparently the whole point is to actually get a degree and become insanely successful! But really, a lot of people in their forties are still trying to figure out what they want to do when they grow up, so you have time.

And, um, about the boy. I KNOW it is so tempting to follow him for the sake of the relationship but Miss Admissions says that definitely is a very bad idea- for all involved. College is actually a lot of fun and meeting new people is what it is all about: boys, girls, profs, people who sell you coffee at midnight so you can finish that paper you blew off to go to the Cheesecake Factory and Happy Potter 3 at the Imax, with your roommies! (I'll neither confirm nor deny that I ever did that) Plus, if you are meant to be together, it will indeed work out. But, there is no way to know that right now- I mean c'mon- take Brit and K.Fed- well pre-divorce, pre-kids, pre-headshaving shopping sprees Brit and KFed- who could have predicted they wouldn't work out y'all?

So, bottom line: My "totally unbiased, completely objective, this-is-really-good-advice" advice is to visit a college with a variety of majors (perhaps Simpson?) within the distance you are comfortable with (like Simpson?) that is a good fit for you (hmmm... maybe?) and lastly, that is within 15 minutes of an Imax (Harry Potter 4 will eventually come out- plan ahead!). Oh, I know, I know, there is a perfect college that fits all of your needs- a little place called Simpson, maybe you've heard of it?

Best Wishes, Miss Admissions